Twenty-Twenty Me

We made it, everyone! It is officially 2023, and here we are, hanging on by a thread, trying to figure out the following “Chapter” of our lives. Some of us had a solid second half of 2022 and will be using that momentum to catapult us into an even stronger start this year. As for the rest of us, we’re stuck at a crossroads playing Eeny, meeny, miny, moe to decide our future. We picked up the scrap metal we escaped in 2022 with and had to weld the pieces together to lay a foundation to build on. Whether the new year starts out good, bad, or indifferent, make this the year of twenty-twenty me.

Last year for me was the year of twenty-twenty you. I gave a lot of energy to everything and everyone except myself. I missed Thanksgiving and Christmas with my son for the second time in his six-year youth, and to add insult to literal injury, I just found out I might have a torn meniscus; FROM TRYING TO GET IN SHAPE!! I finished last year with three failed relationships, an extra thirty-five pounds, three separate moves, in which one was 1,700 miles across the country, a lack of a substantial savings account due to paying off debt from COVID-19, a credit score lower than a a combined NBA score (mostly kidding, but you get the point), and military orders to serve the country. 

What is the most common phrase at the start of every year? We all know it. But if you’re anything like me, you hate it. It is the old “New Year, New Me” bullshit we hear Every. Single. Year. Let’s face facts, once we reach a certain age, there is no “new” us. Just the same person we are every year, with a few tweaks here and there. Hell, some of us never change or tweak anything at all, except esthetically. For women, the eyelashes get bigger. The fingernails get longer. That GOD awful red hair stage makes its way to Instagram to help build false confidence from simple men, and you surround yourself with girlfriends who talk shit behind your back faster than it takes you to blink with those big ass lashes on your face. Us men are not exempt from these behaviors either. We engage in dumb shit too. We get lion tattoos in our friend’s basement tattoo parlor even though we have never been the king of anything. We spend money on expensive clothing brands and drive cars with higher monthly notes than our rent to “shit” on our ex or impress superficial women. Nothing beats picking up a woman in a Scat Pack, cuddling her on that queen-sized air mattress, and watching Netflix on our ex-girlfriend’s account.

I know that sounds harsh, but unfortunately, that is our reality. The better version of ourselves is merely a chance to impress others. What if we took all our energy into making ourselves more appealing to strangers and used it on ourselves? Imagine where you… me… we, could be in a year. What if instead of making drastic changes to feel like we’ve accomplished something, we tweaked a bunch of things that, when added up, make a more significant impact than those eyelashes or that shitty tattoo? What if we just focus on ourselves, regardless of what anyone around us thinks?

That is what Twenty-Twenty Me is all about! We retire from putting others first and focus on improving what is in our control. We make healthy decisions that immediately impact our lives without worrying about how others will perceive us. Are we not tired of constantly feeling like we need an Amen corner to embark on the self-improvement journeys we should have set out on years ago? They say there are only two things guaranteed in life; one is death, and the other is taxes. But if you get rich enough, taxes are technically optional. That only leaves our demise as a guarantee. Unfortunately, no bunk beds are in the grave when you die. If people aren’t going to die with you, why spend all your life living for those who probably won’t attend your funeral?

As I look back and reflect on 2022, I can admit it wasn’t my worst year. The final quarter of the year was a good turnaround for me. I paid off a shit ton of debt, started focusing less on social media, and stopped answering the phone. I stopped being the sole participant in maintaining friendships. I stopped putting energy into finding a life partner. I stopped engaging with anything I felt wasn’t for me. Instead of a massive overhaul, I tweaked things. I tweaked enough small things that would eventually amount to a noticeable change.

As we move into a new year, I remind you there is no “new” you. You’re the once iconic iPhone 6 Plus with iOS 16.2 software. You are who you are, but that doesn’t mean you can’t update yourself.